Ever since I stopped working, I've been plagued by the question "What do you DO all day?"
It happened again today, when Rosie stopped by to invite me to her next party. [Incidentally, OMG APPARENTLY WE DIDN'T MAKE THAT BAD OF A FIRST IMPRESSION!]
I was able to blow past Rosie's inquisition with a simple "Today we just hung out at the house," but it's not always that easy.
People don't mean to belittle me with the question. Probably. Right? Or maybe the do. But when they say those words, I hear "You lazy lout, do you just sit around all day hoping your ass gets bigger? Because, if so, it's working."
The thing is, I'm insecure about what I do all day. I don't feel like I do very much but by the end of the day you'd better believe I'm exhausted. Between sponge bathing, changing and re-outfitting the baby after his tenth 'blowout' of the day, nursing him repeatedly [and then some], trying to entertain him so his little brain doesn't go to mush [OK, also because I feel like he's totally bored staring at my ugly mug all day], and wrangling the cats, I don't get any housework done, let alone any homemaking. Martha would be so disappointed.
Truth be told, many days we don't even get out of the house, except for a stroll around the neighborhood in the evening. When the baby decides he'd like to eat every two hours, and eating takes him 45 minutes, I've got about an hour and fifteen minutes to get somewhere and do something before he's demanding a meal. And I'm not the type to whip out a boob and let him go at it in public. So I limit my outings to places a) within 15 – 20 minutes of home in case of a complete infant meltdown, and b) with parking lots large enough for me to park in a relatively secluded area so I can feed the beast in the backseat. This is tough for me, because even though I'm pretty much a loner, I like to be out and about [perusing the clearance sections of every available establishment].
Anyway, back to those question-askers. Next time one confronts me, what should I say? That I contemplate world peace? Solve previously un-solvable mathematic equations? Write SCOTUS-quality legal briefs? [Alright, sometimes their analytical integrity is questionable, but these briefs? Airtight.]
4 comments:
I think sometimes working adults who have never stayed home think two things: 1.) I wish I could do that or 2.) I could NEVER do that.
Some of it, I think, is a genuiune curisoity ... like, "how do you keep yourself from not going insane" ... and some of it IS definitely condensation, like "I'm better than you because I work."
What they don't realize is HOW HARD it is to stay at home all day with your child(ren).
I was a SAHM for a few months when the twins were infants.
Working FT is much easier.
I have no suggestions about what to add except that people who say it in a critical tone are idiots who have never had children and idiots do not deserve much angst in how to respond to them.
And I adore TJ Maxx.
Oh and I am very happy to be linked on your blog - thanks for the comment on mine!
Post a Comment